Two Teens And Their Mama: A Glimpse of My Empty Nest

Monday, June 9, 2014

A Glimpse of My Empty Nest


If you've been reading here the last few months, it will come as no surprise that I have been dreading the empty nest. Dreading it.  My looming empty nest is a large part of what led me to blogging.  Like many other moms, my identity has been tied up in parenting my two boys.  I am trying to figure out what to do with myself once they finally fly off.

My poor husband finds this whole subject very insulting.  He likes to point out that we were fun loving, happy people before the kids arrived.  He wants to know why the thought of having him all to myself again is so terrible.  I've tried to explain that the two situations have nothing to do with each other, but we've agreed to disagree at this point.

Don't get me wrong.  I really enjoy my husband's company.  We met when we were fifteen, and we're still best friends after thirty two years together.  We make each other laugh and have a lot in common.  We've made it a point to take time for our marriage as our boys have grown. I can't say we've managed a weekly date night, but we're not that couple that's going to look at each other and ask "who are you again"?



But I'm still dreading the empty nest.

However.

Last Saturday the boys were gone, off with friends for the night.  Obviously, they've both been out of the house at the same time before.  But since T has his license now, I didn't even have to worry about picking anybody up later in the evening.

Hubby and I didn't know what to do with ourselves.  He commented that this was what we'd have to look forward to in years to come.  Of course, I gave him a dirty look.  But then I realized it was kind of nice. The house was quiet and orderly.  We had nothing to do, nobody who needed us, and no one we had to be back for. 

We eventually decided to head to a nearby town.   We strolled up and down the street, deciding where we wanted to go. Nobody told us to hurry because they were starving.  No teenager piped up with an opinion about where to eat.  We chose a nice restaurant, and we discussed subjects other than sports and whether Kate Upton or Emma Watson is hotter (yes, my boys have a thing for Hermione).

After our lovely, quiet dinner we went for frozen yogurt and sat outside talking as the sun set.  I have to admit I missed the boys a little bit.  But mostly I just enjoyed my husband's company.



Maybe this empty nest won't be so terrible after all.

30 comments:

  1. I am kind of dreading it. I'm afraid I won't know what to do with myself. After years of frantically running around, taking the kids to practices and games and everything else, the free time may feel overwhelming. Sounds silly, doesn't it?

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    1. It doesn't sound silly all - I feel exactly the same way! It's one of the main reasons I started blogging - so I'd have something to do with myself!

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  2. Thanks for sharing this perspective Lana! Glad you had a fun evening! There will be a void - but a different quality of time with our husbands - AND blogging! - will help to fill it up! :)

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    1. Yes, there will definitely be more time for blogging, which is a good thing!

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  3. Love this post! I'm a few years off but am already dreading the empty nest as my daughter gets older and needs me less and less. You put things in perspective though and it sounds like you had a perfect date night with the hubs!

    Jill
    dousedinpink.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm trying to work on my perspective. I have a few more years until my youngest goes to college, so maybe I'll be more used toit by then.

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  4. Awww..I know its hard to have an empty nest, but I am sure you will enjoy and cherish this time as well. More quality time for just the two of you and new memories when the boys come home from schools!! Congrats to you :)

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    1. Thank you! Each stage does have its advantages.

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  5. My mom had a hard time being an empty nester but now that she's a grandma I bet she is missing those quiet days!

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    1. I'm sure being a grandma is the best!

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  6. I'm in a similar place. My baby is 17 and honestly too busy to spend a lot of time us... which is perfectly as it should be at her age. Yesterday my husband and I went out on the boat together, just sat and bobbed around and talked. It is different, but we had a great time. Still going to miss my girls, though:)

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    1. That's how I feel. I know it's time for them to move on, and I will enjoy more time with my husband. I'm just going to miss them.

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  7. That sounds like a great night with just the two of you. I'm sure it will be a real transition with all sorts of emotions but know doubt you'll be there for each other!

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    1. Yes, at least we're in this together!

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  8. I'm like your husband and looked forward to it. I had my oldest at 20 and married my husband now when he was two so we had never had a time without the kids. We had for awhile then a new responsibility my mother got Alzheimer's. So he careful you be busier than you thought.

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    1. I know what you mean - we took care of my mother in law for 3 years, and she had severe dementia. I have so much respect for you and the care you are taking of your mom!

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  9. It will all be fine. I'm 2/3 of the way there and you just kind of adapt. I spend time with my Scouts and other kids from our youth group, and I do the best I can to keep in touch with my boys and get them together as much as we can. The good part is that we all really enjoy the times we are all together.

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    1. Thank you! I know it will get easier as time goes on - it's just another part of life!

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  10. Thanks for sharing! I am dreading the same thing in a few years. You gave me some hope today(: Susan

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    1. I think every mom dreads it in some way. I'm trying to find the positive though!

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  11. Good for you! I think there would be a lot more to dread if you and your husband weren't able to enjoy each other. That being said, my first leaves for college in August and it makes me sad to think about her being away, too!

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    1. It would definitely be harder without my hubby. Hopefully you're daughter won't be too far away?

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  12. Awwwww Lana.....I can totally hear you. Actually I've been at that stage for a few years now since my 2 kids went off to college....and blogging has been a sweet escape from the emptiness. Oh well we are hitting life's full circle indeed!

    Rebecca
    www.redtagchiclosangeles.com

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    1. Yes, we definitely are. Blogging is a great distraction though.

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  13. It empties. Then refills. Then empties, then refills. Then . . . you get the picture! :)

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    1. Very true. Once you have kids, I guess the nest is never truly empty for long.

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