Two Teens And Their Mama: They Finally Like Each Other

Thursday, January 15, 2015

They Finally Like Each Other


Something momentous has happened at my house in the last few months, an event that has been a VERY long time coming.  I think my boys finally like each other.

When T was born, C was two and a half.  For the first eight months, C pretty much ignored the baby. I think he saw no use for him, and just wasn't interested at all.  But then T started crawling, and getting up in C's grill. T tried to play with him and his toys, but C was having none of it.  Sometimes I would catch C with his little brothers cheeks in his hands, gritting his teeth, and looking like he really wanted to get rid of him.


As they got older things didn't get much better.  The problem is, they could not be more different. They don't look alike, and have vastly different interests and hobbies.  I just don't think they could relate to each other.  There were never any all out fist fights, but certainly lots of arguing and name calling.  Most of the time they just stayed out of each other's way.

Looks like a hug, but I'm pretty sure it's a strangle hold.
I remember crying to my husband about it more than once.  I know they love each other, but WHY aren't they friends?  How come they don't want to play together and do brotherly things?   Hubby just shrugged his shoulders and said "at least they aren't beating each other up like my brothers and I used to do".  Very helpful.

But finally, over the past few months, something has started to change.  They have both matured, and are learning to respect the other's interests.  T likes to talk about cars with his older brother, and C enjoys attending T's sporting events and cheering him on. Recently I found them sitting downstairs on the couch together, having a great discussion about the future of WSU football.  Unprecedented, I tell you.


Last weekend, of his own volition, C decided that T's car needed new brakes.  He got up early on Sunday, went to the auto store, got the needed supplies, and spent three hours putting them in.  Without being asked.  T was so happy about this turn of events, he invited his brother out to lunch to thank him. Without being asked.

When they got home, I was a little teary eyed.  All the men in my house looked at me like I was crazy, although that's a pretty common occurrence.  

Someday when my husband and I are gone, I want them to be able to lean on each other.  I want them to do fun things together, and be each other's strength during the tough times. I want them to be friends.  For now, I'm so happy that they finally like each other.

28 comments:

  1. Awww, I love this. Victory for you!!!

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    1. Thanks Deena. It's been a long wait!

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  2. This is sweet! Love that they had lunch together. It's so nice when you get glimpses of sibling love. I'm sure your boys will be real friends someday soon!!

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    1. I sure hope so. Right now I'm holding my breath, waiting to see if it lasts!

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  3. So good to hear!
    That was my oldest two boys. Then my first and third. Now they get along fine. For us, it took moving out . . . Sigh.

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    1. Yeah, all that togetherness probably doesn't help!

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  4. Isn't it funny what growing up will do? I'll BET this thrills you!

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    1. Just when you think all hope is lost, they grow up and surprise you!

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  5. Mine are 25 and 23 and I don't think it will ever happen. They don't like each other, actually can't stand each other even though I keep hoping one day that will change. I thought maybe when they had their own children but not so far!!!

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    1. I hope they eventually find their way to friendship!

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  6. Great story! Wendy and I never got along until we were in our teens, and I figured out that my little sister was actually a pretty cool kid. Sometimes it just takes time, but once built, those bonds can last forever.

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    1. You and your sister seem to have the best relationship! My sister and I were five years apart and didn't really get along until we were married and had kids. So there's hope!

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  7. This is something that I always feel kind of sad about when I think about Noah being an only child. The bond and love between siblings is simply priceless. I used to fight a lot with my younger brother ages ago. I also felt insecure and horribly jealous towards my older sister. But as adults, we love each other to death and I really feel relieved that we have become mature enough to truly value each other and our bond. Lovely and touching post! :-))

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    1. Thanks Joy! I think I was always a little jealous of my younger siblings too. I paved the way and they got the benefits!

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  8. Yay! I hope that my kids can get to that point, right now Baby Fox tolerates Mini Fox. She doesn't play with his toys yet...but just wait...I'm sure things will change when that happens. My brother and I are 9 months apart and have pretty much always been really close, so glad that we didn't spend most of our childhood fighting :)

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    1. Everything changed when my younger son started to "touch" the older one's toys. But you will survive!

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  9. Aww!! That is so sweet!!!
    My sister and I are 22 months apart and we pulled each other's hair for pretty much 16 years. Then she turned 18 and went to college, and we've been best buds since.
    I love that they do favors for each other! And lunch!

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    1. I know, right? I'm still waiting for my lunch invitation :)!

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  10. This is wonderful---I love it! Hey, I despised my older brother when we were growing up. We didn't begin to tolerate each other until I was 21 and he was 27. And then we became the closest of all four siblings in my family. See? you just never know….

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  11. Great photos Lana! Even more impressive to me than their improving relationship is the fact that C can put in new brakes! That's a handy guy to have around! :)

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    1. I know - I was impressed too. Had no idea he could do that!

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  12. I love how they have come around Lana... one of my sisters and I rarely got along when we were younger, we just ended up not speaking much... today we reach out to each other the most and have the best talks... we are still different but we appreciate it each other xox

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    1. Isn't it nice to have a sister to talk to? My sister and I didn't get along well when we were younger, but now we are friends.

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  13. Oh, this is good to know and so sweet too! Mine still argue like crazy, and the teens are the worst --ugh! Thanks for sharing, and hopefully, my kids will get better at this some day. :)

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  14. I'm still waiting for that day... Glad you got to see yours!

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