Two Teens And Their Mama: Finding My Way Back To The Positive

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Finding My Way Back To The Positive

"When you deliberately seek positive aspects of whatever you are giving your attention to, you, in a sense, tune your vibrational tuner to more positive aspects of everything. And, of course, you could tune yourself negatively as well.  But as you are deliberately looking for positive aspects in yourself or in others, you will find more of those things: 'The better it gets, the better it gets,' for you get more and more of what you are thinking about."           ---Abraham Hicks

Summer started out on a lovely note and I was lucky enough to take wonderful trips to New York and San Antonio.  The weather here was beautiful, I was spending time with family and friends, and all was well.

And then.... my mom got hurt and required a lot of care, my uncle's cancer took a turn for the worse, and I started to realize that this was the summer before my youngest child's senior year.  I was overwhelmed and found myself slipping into that negative place.

By the time we got to August, I was seriously down in the dumps.  When we arrived at the Oregon Coast for our annual beach vacation, I had a complete meltdown.  My poor husband. I'm going to write more about that next week, because something really cool happened that day, and it's worth its own post.

Maybe I just needed a good cry, or maybe it was the soothing powers of the salty air and crashing surf.  Maybe it was the hours of talking I did on our morning walks.  Again, my poor husband.  But throughout the course of that week, something really good happened.

I found my way back to the positive.

I realized that the underlying issue was my panic about the future - a future where my job as a mom has changed, where I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself, and where I desperately miss those two little boys who called me "mommy".  Nobody tells you how heartbreaking it's going to be when you have to let them go.

But here's the thing - that future is coming, whether I want it to or not.  And that's as it should be. 

The only thing that's changed is how I view it.  I'm choosing to focus on the positive.  This is an exciting time in my boys' lives, and I want to cheer them on every step of the way.  I want them to see a strong mama who loves and encourages them, but who also has a life of her own, separate from theirs.  I know there will be days where I'll still be sad, and it's okay to acknowledge those feelings, but I won't dwell on them.



Yesterday morning when T left for his first day of senior year, I didn't have another meltdown.  I worked out, and then sat at my computer and started writing.  I began this blog because I love to write, and by writing I hope to become a better writer.  I'm on the brink of something new, and I want to make the best of this life I've been given.  Definitely something to be positive about.

**************************************************************

Speaking of positivity, my friend Rena, who blogs at The Diary of An Alzheimer's Caregiver and Rena's World, has to be the most positive woman I know.  It's unbelievable all the things life has thrown at her but she gets through it with her great attitude and outlook. Rena is a full time caregiver to her mom who suffers from Alzheimer's, and on October 17th, she will be participating in the Walk2EndAlz.  There is currently no cure for this terrible disease, and continued research is so necessary.  To learn more about it and make a donation to Rena's team, visit here.


26 comments:

  1. Our roles as parents are constantly changing! You have such a great attitude about it! Our kids still need us, just in different ways!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true. It's hard to remember sometimes!

      Delete
  2. Aw, beautiful post. I'm going to save this one to remember when I'm falling into that rut. Also, your hubby is great. That's a fact.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, he's pretty great. And a good listener :)!

      Delete
  3. I applaud you for finding your way back. Sometimes that path can be difficult to find.

    bisous
    Suzanne

    ReplyDelete
  4. Aw this is a great post! And yes girl, you are going to love this next step in your sons lives! You'll find you grow even closer to them. That's what happened to me with my mom!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely got closer with my mom too. I worry about boys though!

      Delete
  5. Okay you made me bawl like a baby. First of the thought of you having a meltdown just breaks my heart. It happens to all of us, but you are such a happy positive person that I can't imagine you any other way. I'm sure glad you are feeling better. Then I saw the bottom with the ad (the ad with the too-dark print sorry), but I am so lucky to have you and Susan as my friends. It is the absolute best thing that has happened to me along with some other great friendships. You and Susan though are like school mates we've been together since the start. I thank you many, many times over for being such a supportive and caring friend. Secondly what are the chances we would start another blog on the exact same day! We're heading into the great unknown and it is scary, but knowing we are going through it and can support each other makes me just a little braver! P.S. The book has been overhauled, completed and edited. I'm letting it sit for a few weeks then I will edit it one more time...then it will be finished haha! Baby crying got to go!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really appreciate that you see me as positive. I try to be that way most of the time, but you never know how others perceive you. I'm so happy that we've become friends too! I can't believe our new blogs launched on the same day. Congrats on the book and I can't wait to read the finished product!

      Delete
  6. What a nice post! I try to always stay in the positive too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! It's a much better place to be.

      Delete
  7. You have no idea how MUCH I CAN RELATE TO THIS!!! My first born graduates this year and I am overwhelmed. We lost my husbands mother to ALS in June and well, it's been one thing after another. I am a very positive person so I let the light shine and not let circumstances get me down. You're right, the future is coming and we have to smd through it with the help of love, chocolate and wonderful bloggers like you who uplift your readers with grace!! We are not alone and the occasional meltdowns are warranted. ;-)Thank you for this Lana!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww...thanks so much for the kind words Andrea. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. I forgot about chocolate - that can fix anything!

      Delete
  8. This spoke to me so much.
    No one talks about just how hard it is for your kids to grow up, but we all think it. Even now, when first grade seems old to me. I think it all the time.
    Creating positive thinking fosters positive actions. It all spreads. It's amazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That last line - you're right, it really does. Thank you Tamara!

      Delete
  9. You have such a wonderful outlook on life. Your positivity will ALWAYS get you through the rough patches!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Marcia! And your humor helps me through it too!

      Delete
  10. What a perfect quote - and perfect article this is! I share many of your same feelings Lana. I'm also trying to improve my outlook - and realize in this year of "lasts" that while the school years chapter is ending and my kids will need and relate to me differently, I am still their mom!
    That being said - tonight was the last School Open House I will ever go to as a parent ... and it hit me a little hard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad we have each other to lean on during this time, Susan! Even though it's a tough time, I know how proud you are of your kids - with good reason!

      Delete
  11. welcome to the "lets look for the positive" brigade. After I had my melt down a couple of years ago, I wasted 12 months sucking it up, and then realized that the world is what I choose to see it as - that was a turning point for me and I'm glad you're on the same road. Kids leave home and that sucks but looking for the positives helps everyone through the transition! Keep on smiling!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Leanne - I always appreciate your perspective because I know you've been there!

      Delete
  12. Staying positive isn't always easy Lana but continually working at it is so important. Life has handed me many curves but as you say, we cannot dwell on them.. I have heard that the empty nest syndrome is tough to handle, I love my children a great deal, when my oldest left home to start her life I was super busy with changes in mine, so I didn't have that syndrome, with my youngest I am sure it will be different as I am quite a bit older... Having our own lives is very important xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's definitely a work in progress, but so important!

      Delete
  13. I am glad you found your way back to the positive. Congrats to your handsome son on his senior year! You are one beautiful mamma, inside and out!

    <3 Ada.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so sweet! I know he's going to have a great year, and I need to celebrate that!

      Delete

Reading your comments is one of the best parts of blogging! I read and appreciate them all!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...