Two Teens And Their Mama: Life Goes On

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Life Goes On


A week ago I planned to get back to blogging.  Then I sat down at my computer, and the words wouldn't come. I tried the next day, and then the next, but nothing.  Every time I started to write, I cried instead.

Over the weekend we visited my uncle, who is very sick with end-stage cancer. Two of his children are due to have baby girls within the next few weeks, so the family gathered for a mega baby shower.  Even though he was in obvious pain, Uncle didn't want to miss a thing, so he moved to the couch, right in the middle of all the action.  As we watched the little ones running around, high on sugar and whooping it up, Uncle smiled at me and said "this is what it's all about.  Life goes on. Look for something good every day.  It's there."

He's right.  Life goes on.  In the middle of all the sadness in our days right now, there's goodness too.  For me, part of that goodness is this blog.  I love writing, and connecting with all of you.  I need to get back here.  I hope it will be part of the healing process - writing about the beauty of the Christmas season and all the little things that make this a magical time of year.


My dad had a difficult time with life, and our relationship was far from perfect. Despite all that, I loved him very much.  And I know that he loved me, my husband, and my children. That's what I choose to remember about him.

My blue eyes, sense of humor, and empathy came from my father.  I hope that I always live my life being as generous as he was.  He had a kind heart and a giving soul.

When I look at my boys, I see so much of my dad in them.  C got his red hair and love of cars.  T received his love of music (Mamma Mia, Supertramp, or Neil Diamond, anyone?) and fishing from grandpa.


I will miss my father every day for the rest of my life.   I keep expecting to pick up the phone and hear him say "Hi, it's daaaaaaaad".  I'll be going about my business, and suddenly I smack into a brick wall of remembering that he's really gone.  A part of me died with him, but I know so many good parts of him have stayed behind.

And life goes on.

And so will I.

20 comments:

  1. Awe Lana... this is sweet, so many of us have those difficult relationships but so much good wrapped into them too. I have missed you in the blogging world but I do understand the beeak...as you state 'life goes on' ... no matter what's going on in our lives xox ♡ ((hugs))

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  2. Your uncle has wise words and your father sounds like he was an amazing man! It's so hard to get back to normal life when you lose someone close to you. Thinking of you and sending hugs!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink

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  3. Big hugs, my friend. Those are some wise and very true words.
    Deena
    Shoes to Shiraz

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  4. Oh sending you so much love and healing vibes this holiday. We are all here when you are ready to blog!!! Xxoo

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  5. What a beautifully written post. Hugs to you and your family Lana.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  6. So sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved Dad five years ago and think of him all the time. I think our dads would want us to go on and try to be happy--it's what all parents want for their children. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  7. I am so sorry for your loss. You uncle is very wise, I am so sorry he is suffering as well. No rush to get back to blogging, we'll be ready to read when you're ready to write!

    Brooke
    Pumps and Push-Ups

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  8. Sweetie, I'm so glad to see you back here and I know the writing helps somewhat. We all missed you but we've all lifted you up in prayer and will continue to do so while you deal with this loss. My husband and I are struggling having lost his mother this year as well but you're right life goes on and the Lord will carry us through. Have a wonderful day beautiful Lana!!

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  9. Love this Lana! I am so sorry for you loss, but please know your Uncle is so right! And your dad is looking down on you and your family and smiling! Love you!

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  10. Hugs to you Lana. Your uncle is a wise man.

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  11. So glad to see you back here, Lana! Christmas will most definitely be hard, but I know you will do just what your Uncle suggested and find JOY in the moments! Sending hugs your way!

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  12. I am so happy to see you back. I know you've been through hell and back. I wanted to give you some time and space, but now its up! Now, I'm going to go back to being a pain in your ass! Seriously, I missed you so much and I've thought of you and what you've been dealing with every single day. I'm here for you always dear friend.

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  13. So sorry you're going through such a hard time. This is beautifully written and a great tribute to your dad!

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  14. I'm so happy to see that your words are flowing again, eloquently as always. I have missed you and my thoughts have been with you and your family Lana. I like the quote, and I think it very true. Welcome back.

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  15. My Uncle actually passed away on Monday, to the surprise of many of us. He had eight grandchildren. I hope he had a lot of peace.
    Life does go on, but sometimes it can hurt unbearably.

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  16. Thank you for this post, friend. I don't even know what to say except my eyes are filled with tears and my heart hurts for you. Love you. xoxo

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  17. Grief is like that. You're doing fine one minute and the next BAM! you're in tears. Hang in there, Lana. Take it one day at a time, is my suggestion. Welcome back. My heart goes out to you and yours.

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  18. I'm sorry. It can't be easy to lose a parent. My husband lost his father and I can see the pain in his eyes from time to time.

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  19. bawling my eyes out here... I hope you're taking good care of yourself xo
    Confessions of a Frumpy Mommy

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