Two Teens And Their Mama: Thresholds

Friday, February 12, 2016

Thresholds


All too often these days, I find myself wishing I could go back.  Back to the days when my boys were young, and needed me more, and weren't about to go off into the world.  Back to a time when my dad was still here, telling hilarious stories and driving us all crazy.  Back to when my grandpa and uncle were healthy, and we camped and played card games, instead of sitting quietly and waiting.

In my mind, I know that I can't go back.  But in my heart, I've been spending too much time there.

So when I saw the title of Sherre Hirsch's latest book, Thresholds:  How To Thrive Through Life's Transitions To Live Fearlessly And Regret-Free, I knew it was something I needed to read.


Sherre's premise is that we all have many thresholds in our life, those times of transition when we are moving from what we know to something new.  Some of the thresholds are exciting, like marriage, and some are painful, like the death of a parent.  But no matter what, we have to move forward.  We can't go back.

She talks a lot about the F word - fear.  Most of our fears take root in our minds, based on something we imagine might happen.  We also overestimate the consequences of our fears coming true.  Reality is rarely as bad as we think it will be, and most of us can cope - we are braver than we give ourselves credit for.
"How do we accept that we cannot go back?  How do we move forward when all we want to do is move backward?  How do we find the courage to believe there is another room in front of us if we move toward it?"
Sherre writes about developing a broader scope of vision, in order to see all the possibilities before us.  There are always other ways and paths, and by looking forward, we can see the options.  We have to leave our comfort zone to try something new.  By using all the experiences, wisdom and knowledge we have amassed up to this point, we can propel ourselves forward across each new threshold.

I really enjoyed this book.  It is clearly written, and Ms. Hirsch weaves lots of personal stories into each chapter to illustrate her points.  While it didn't provide a step by step approach to moving forward, it helped me positively shift my perspective on how I look at my upcoming challenges.  And reminded me that I have to stop living in the past.
"When we wish to re-create the past, we are wishing to go back to a place that no longer exists.  What was past has changed, and we have changed."
I know.  I know.  But why does it have to be so hard? 

Disclaimer:  I received this book from Blogging For Books in exchange for an honest review.  All opinions are my own.

29 comments:

  1. It is hard to move forward when you're not ready! This sounds like a great read! Thanks for sharing your review and have a wonderful weekend!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jill. I'm not ready but here I go!

      Delete
  2. I need to take what you said as a mantra and remember that there will be a time in the not so distant future when I will be wishing these moments back...these moments that I find myself just wanting a nap from. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's exhausting sometimes when your kids are little and need so much from you all the time. But I still want it back!

      Delete
  3. Why so hard, indeed? Must read this book!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh do I need to read this book! You know I'm going through same thing Lana with these boys going to college and sweet memories of the past, thank you for the recommendation! I hope your Valentine's Day was full of so much love and fun beautiful lady!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wish we could get together for coffee and commiserate! If you want to read the book I'd be happy to send it to you.

      Delete
  5. I've been in your shoes so many times and I was terrified, but the fear we build up in our minds is never like the reality. Your life will continue to change and you will pick up new dreams and desires along the way. As the boys change you are also changing even if you can't see it quite well. You will when your ready.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Rena. Your words always mean so much to me because I know you've been through it.

      Delete
  6. I think I have needed a good cry for some time now. This post pushed me over that edge and it was such a relief and release. I am thinking a lot about thresholds, too, and changes and have a lingering sadness lately. It is so hard. Life is so hard. But so worthwhile. But so hard, can I say that again? With every reticent step we take forward, though, we open ourselves to wonderful new experiences that will never replace those losses and good times from our past, but will build on all that we have experienced. I miss my dad, too. I wish I could just tell him that I love him, one more time. Will be reading this book. Love you, Lana, for your sensitive soul and loving heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leslie, your comments are always so kind and heartfelt. You are a great inspiration to me. I love the way you live your life with such positivity and energy! Thank you for that!

      Delete
  7. It is really hard. I have a lot of trouble moving forward. a LOT. I need to read this book badly. Especially because my kids are at those ages in which they need me for EVERYTHING and I want to enjoy it rather than just know one day I'll miss it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so hard when they need you constantly, and you wonder when there will ever be a moment for you. And then the day comes when there seem to be too many moments. Wish there was a middle ground somewhere.

      Delete
  8. Sounds like a book I should invest in! Even though we change as our past does, we can always bring simple things from the past back into our lives. Such as traditions.

    - Harlynn
    mindyourmadness.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. This sounds like a good book.

    Moving forward can be hard, but you can't move backwards (sometimes I really wish I could!). Lots of people try to stand still and that doesn't work either because everything around you is moving.

    bisous
    Suzanne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a really good point. Standing still doesn't work either. Guess I'll have to move on...

      Delete
  10. Omgosh.
    I think I need to savor the moment more in life. I wish I could go back so many times. I miss when my dad was healthier. I worry every day about losing my parents too. It sucks getting old.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I tend to do the same thing sometimes. Longing for a time that's done and gone. But I like the possibilities of an adventurous future and that cheers me up. The book looks like a great read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm working on the looking forward to adventure part.

      Delete
  12. My son left for his "last high school retreat." We are going through a season of "lasts" but he'll be entering a new season of firsts. I'm thankful that my son is someone I enjoy spending time with. He's going to make a fun adult that whose friendship I'll want to cultivate. This sounds like a timely book! ~ Sheila
    Making the Most of Every Day

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Such a good point. I enjoy my boys so much already, and I know that will just get better as they become adults. Such a great perspective Sheila!

      Delete
  13. It sounds like a book I need to read too Lana... sometimes I think about times in the past wishing I could go back but the author is right, that time does not exist anymore, I have changed, it wouldn't be the same... I know you will through this threshold... as difficult as you think it might be xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Launna. I know I'm stronger that I give myself credit for, but it's just so hard to go forward sometimes!

      Delete
  14. I just read about this book. I think I'll pick it up. It's hard to not want to go back sometimes. Especially when I think I would do things differently or better the second time around!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point. There are so many things I'd do differently!

      Delete

Reading your comments is one of the best parts of blogging! I read and appreciate them all!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...