Two Teens And Their Mama: 25 Years Ago Today

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

25 Years Ago Today


25 years ago today, we were married. Thank goodness for pictures and video, because everything was such a blur.  

I do have a very distinct memory from our honeymoon, however.  It was the third day, and we had rented a convertible and were heading to Napa Valley. The California early fall sunshine was brilliant, the day was gorgeous, and we were filled with joy, love and hope.  I turned to G and said "we're going to have the most wonderful life".

And we have.  Our marriage is far from perfect, and there have been many bumps in the road.  But at the end of each day, I can honestly say that I'm so happy to be married to this man.  

Last weekend, G and I vacationed in Whistler, BC, Canada. Most of the people who knew we were celebrating our anniversary were surprised and even shocked that we had been together for 25 years.  While I appreciated the enthusiasm (especially the upgraded room - thank you Four Seasons Resort!), it made me sad.  Is it really that unusual to be happily married for this long?


I recently came across a blog post, and the author had a list of fifteen non-negotiable qualities she was looking for in a spouse.  Included were things like blue eyes, at least 6 feet tall, already established in his career.  It was like reading a casting call for The Bachelor.

After a successful 25 years with my best friend, let me share the following, much more important qualities.  Trust me.  Look for someone who:

  • calms you down when you're all kinds of crazy, legitimate or not.
  • encourages you even when you don't believe in yourself.
  • leaves you love notes.
  • has patience with your parents.  Trust me, there will come a time when they will push it, and it will be sooner than you think.
  • listens when you talk and talk and talk.
  • watches chick flicks with you and pretends to be interested.
  • never tears you down, or insults you, no matter what you're fighting about.
  • has a sense of humor.  There are many times you will need it.
  • holds your hand.
  • takes you away every once in a while, even if it's just for dinner.
  • thinks you're beautiful, even on those days when you are clearly not.
  • loves his mother and treats her with respect.
  • lets you go to bed mad.  Sometimes things just need to wait for morning.
  • supports you through everything life throws your way. Everything.

We're happily in it for the long haul.  I'm well aware that I hit the jackpot when I met this guy all those years ago in 9th grade.  I have no idea what I did to deserve him, but I'll take it.  25 years sounds like a long time, but really, it's gone by so fast.  

At dinner on Saturday night, a couple came into the restaurant in their wedding dress and suit, to have their first meal as husband and wife.  We thought about stopping by their table to say congratulations, but didn't want to interrupt a happy moment.  Instead, we quietly took care of their bill, wanting to pay our good fortune forward, remembering what it was like to be so young and excited about the future.  I hope that in 25 years they will be where we are today.

Still filled with hope, joy, and love.

46 comments:

  1. that was such a lovely gesture to that young couple! Congrats on your 25 years together and for still being in love - not much more you can ask for in life is there? :)

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    1. As long as you have that, everything else seems to fall into place!

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  2. Congratulations! Love your list of qualities to look for, very true!

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  3. Yay happy anniversary!!
    I love your list. Those are all qualities Military Husband has.

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    1. Your husband sounds like a great guy!

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  4. What a wonderful story and inspiration!!!!! That couple will never forget that special gesture!! My husband and I try to live by these and we are blessed, it takes work but more than worth it!! Happy Anniversary!!

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    1. Marriage is definitely work sometimes - but I agree, so worth it!

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  5. Aw, I love this post. You guys are brilliant together. I hope to be as happy as you when we hit 25!

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    1. I have absolutely no doubt you will be!

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  6. Oh Lana how sweet and Happy Anniversary to you both! Wishing you both many years of happiness.
    Julie xo

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  7. Happy Anniversary and what a beautiful bride you were, Lana! I know what you mean because Wayne and I have been married for twenty years and it seems so strange to others. But there is no way I would want to be single again! Enjoy your special day!

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    1. You're very sweet! I can't even imagine being single again - it sounds terrible!

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  8. What a wonderful story. Happy Anniversary! 25 years is a big deal today. This year will be my 24th year and people are also very surprised when I tell them.

    I love that you paid for their meal.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. It's sad that 25 is such a big deal. Thanks for the happy wishes!

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  9. This made me cry happy tears. It's amazing to have that sort of connection isn't it. The older we get the more it amazes me. I'm only a year behind you and I too feel so damn lucky. It's funny because I first my husband I was a 7th grader and he was in 9th. I remember seeing him and thinking one day I'll marry that man. We went on with separate lives each marrying the wrong person until years later we found each other again. We met that night, moved in together the next day and 24 years later we've never spent a night apart from each other other than 1 week when I took mom on a daughter/mother trip with her two sisters and their daughters. It was the longest week in my life and I swore I would never do it again. I love that wedding photo so young and in love! Congratulations dear friend and may we celebrate our 50th/49th together!

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    1. I think your love story is one of the best I've ever heard Rena!

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  10. I have told you before I love the way you write. This was so beautiful, thoughtful and sweet. Your man is one lucky husband to have you! Huge congratulations on 25 amazing years together. It was our 10th this year so yeah that's a big one, too!!

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    1. Ten years is definitely a big accomplishment. Thank you so much for your kind words Ada!

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  11. I'm so glad your premonition on your honeymoon came true! It is evident that both you and G do many things right: it seems you truly deserve each other, and the happiness you have found together! I can't even imagine the emotions of that newly-wed couple, when they found out their meal was paid for! I hope you were still there to witness it! Happy, happy anniversary Lana and G - and best wishes for many more!

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    1. Thanks so much Susan - and to you as well!

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  12. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! What a kind gesture. I bet you added to their day and a very special memory too. I think some people have unreal expectations of what it is to live with someone in a long term relationship.

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    1. I agree - people think it's going to be sunshine and roses every day, and don't want to put in the hard work. But it's so worth it in the end!

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  13. Happy Anniversary! You are so lucky to have been together for 25 years. Those are important qualities for a strong relationship. What a nice gesture to take care of that couples bill!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink

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  14. Happy anniversary! That is so sweet that you paid the bill for the newlyweds, you probably made there night that much more special! I agree with your list of qualities, though I do enjoy my husbands blue eyes ;)

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    1. You made me laugh - I quite like my husband's blue eyes too!

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  15. Happy Anniversary! Congrats on 25 years! I was JUST telling Mr. about wanting to pay for someone's bill one day. they will be telling people that for years to come! Totally agree with this list by the way, every single thing I found myself nodding my head. Minus going to bed mad, only because I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. We tried that once and we both finally got up at 3am and talked it out, haha.

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    1. So funny that you got up at 3am to hash things out!

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  16. Oh my!! Congratulations sweet friends! So happy for you both and your points are well taken and so true. Many blessings to y'all.

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  17. So sweet...you have not changed a bit!! Beautiful as ever!! Happy Anniversary...hope your day's been fabulous!!

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  18. Such a sweet post! Happy Anniversary :-)
    Darlene

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  19. What a beautiful post! May you have many more years of happiness!

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  20. Oh my Lana, this actually made me tear up and lately it has been extremely hard for me to tear up (long story)... I love your list, it is perfect and what you need in a companion both ways... truly how he treats his mother is important (my ex was so nasty and that is how he treated me)... I am glad you both hit the jackpot with each other and that you continue to work on your relationship making it stronger xox

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    1. Thanks Launna. And you're right, this list needs to go both ways.

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  21. Happy Anniversary!
    What a lovely story and I'm in a teary mood so it's making me want to cry. Happy tears!
    I truly hope I make it to 25 years with these perspectives. To 25 more!

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    1. Thanks Tamara. I really hope there's at least 25 more!

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  22. Thank you for that wise, thoughtful list of qualities for a spouse. Congratulaions on your first 25 years of marriage. You were a lovely bride but an even more beautiful wife.

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    1. Thanks Leslie - you are the sweetest!

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