My New Happy: Once A Mom, Always A Mom

Friday, March 17, 2017

Once A Mom, Always A Mom

This week, I learned a very important empty nester lesson.  The method of delivery wasn't ideal, but the message was clear.

My boys still need me.

Sounds obvious, but trust me, most days I feel pretty redundant in their lives. Which truthfully, is a good thing.  If I've done my job well, they're off in the world, making their own way, figuring things out, without calling mom for advice every five minutes.

So while I might complain, for the most part I've resigned myself to the new role, and I'm trying to enjoy the show from the sidelines.  But then the phone rings at 10pm, and your mama gut immediately senses danger, you're off the bench and back in the game.

Thomas has been home on spring break, and Wednesday night he, Conner, and a group of friends headed to the YMCA for a pick up basketball game.  Thirty minutes in, Conner went up for a rebound and it didn't end well.  As he lay on the court, all he could say to his brother was "shoulder".

This is his fifth dislocation, so he knows the pain and he knows the drill.  It's not pretty.  The YMCA called an ambulance, and Thomas called me.

Let me say this, and every mother will yell amen.  Whether they're 2 or 22, when your baby is hurt, nothing else matters. I couldn't get myself to the Y fast enough.  In fact, I beat the ambulance by three minutes.

The relief on his agonized face as he saw me walk in broke my heart.  In that moment I realized that no matter how old you are, sometimes you just need your mom. To hold your hand, and tell you it's going to be okay, and politely (?) tell the paramedics that MOM IS HERE, AND SHE'S GOT THIS.  

And on that very long night, there was comfort in that, for him and for me.  He's got some tough medical decisions ahead, and I have every confidence that he'll make his way and figure things out.  But I'm not going anywhere.

My boy still needs me.


  1. ...And he always will!!!! LOVE this and continued prayers. LOVE you mama!

  2. Your boys will always need you and know that you will always be right by their sides! Hope that he is not in too much pain and is feeling better!

    Doused In Pink

  3. As much as I am so sorry to here this happened to your son I can imagine the warm feeling of knowing that your boys still CHOOSE to call you. I'm stuck at an age with my kids where they are just starting to need me less and it is a strange feeling. You've done a great job raising your boys Lana.

  4. Um yes. They will always need you!! I still need my mom!! You are mother forever.

  5. Those 10 pm+ phone calls are terrifying. I was reminded my babies still need me a little bitty bit when we were together this past week. And I needed my mom a bitty bit, too. Your graphic is spot-on. And this post is one of my very favorites of yours. Written straight from the heart. XO

  6. Can I tell you that this totally made me teary eyed and choke up? Just thinking of him laying there and then seeing that look of relief on his face when he saw you. You give me hope, that no matter how old they'll always need you. Hopefully he gets better quickly!

  7. Oh, Lana. I do hope he's doing ok now. Those late night phone calls are beyond chilling, aren't they? Sending you a jumbo hug.

  8. Nothing is quite like a Mom when things go wrong.


  9. Aw!! I hope he's ok - that pain must be intense.
    I think they always do. My sister called my mom when she was in premature labor to say, "I don't know how to give birth!" That always makes me laugh. She's in her 30's and I imagine she will always call my mom first. Ambulance second?

  10. I can tell you love both your boys so, so much! I'm glad you were close enough to be able to come help him in his time of need. And, ouch! That sounds so painful!


  11. Whenever I’m sick I still call my Mom. Whenever something goes terribly wrong I call my Mom. I cannot imagine a world where I don’t lean on my Mother or the wisdom she so graciously shares with me. I make it a point to tell her how much I love and appreciate her. I pray one day when I finally start my family My Mom will be by my side teaching me her ways and supporting me. I’m sure your boys feel the same way. Oh No! I hope Conners shoulder heals fast. That’s so scary. I’m not surprised you beat the ambulance your boys are so lucky to have you Lana :)

  12. Not a good situation but I know it's a good place to be the needed mom. You've always been a good mom and even through this transition you are rocking it! I have to say I can see a joy in your blog as you embrace the empty nest.

  13. Aw, this makes me smile- not cause he got hurt but the love. All the love.

  14. Awe... yes our children always needs us no matter how old they get xox

    I hope he's okay and that he heals quickly xox

  15. I choked up reading this! I know *exactly* what you mean!


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