My New Happy: Ten Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

Friday, May 11, 2018

Ten Things Motherhood Has Taught Me


Happy Friday, friends!  Hope you've had a great week.  Thank you so much for all of the kind birthday messages and texts.  I appreciated every single one!

Today I'm linking up with Erin for 10 on the 10th, and the topic this month is about motherhood.  Yep, I'm a day late, but what else is new.

Being a mom, and raising these two awesome young men, has been my greatest accomplishment in life.  They're not perfect, and neither am I.  And there's still some parenting left to do.  But both boys had some big victories this week, and it's reminded me how proud I am of who they've become.  Momhood is hands down the absolute hardest job in the world.  It's nonstop, and just when you think you've got a handle on things, it all changes.

So I'm going a different way with this topic, and sharing the ten things I've learned about parenting in my 23 years on the job.

Expect respect.  This is my number one rule and the foundation for everything else.  No matter how mad they are, or how much the don't like what I'm telling them, I expect my boys to respect me and everyone around them.  It's normal to have a bad day or feel emotional, but it's NOT okay to take it out on the people in your life.

Don't try to be their friend.  This is so important.  Growing up, they had enough friends, and they needed me to be the mom.  Just now, at the ages of 23 and 21, I'm feeling like we're finally friends.

Having said that, remember to have fun.  Sometimes we forget how great they are when we're caught up in the daily grind of parenting.  When I was younger, my parents rarely did anything fun with me, so I've made it a priority to hang out and laugh with my boys.

Hold them accountable for their actions.  It's so tempting to step into their lives and bail them out of tough situations.  No parent wants their child to feel hurt or disappointed.  But I want my kids to be accountable for themselves and figure out how to handle the difficulties that life throws at them.


Don't try to control everything.  Set boundaries for the things that are most important to you and your family, but remember to be flexible.  Learn to pick your battles.  I gave the boys a little leeway to make choices for themselves, even if they weren't always the right ones.

Which means, know when to step back.  Let them fly.  As a mom, this is SO hard, because you want to be there to protect them every step of the way.  I love the quote "being a mom means forever having your heart go walking around outside your body".

Keep communication open.  Your kids aren't going to tell you everything, nor should they.  But as teens, my boys had to inform me where they were going, when they'd be back, and if their plans changed.  It was non negotiable.  

Know their friends.  Who your kids are hanging out with is a good indication of what's going on in their lives.  We made it a point to get to know all their friends and made our house the gathering place.  Just know that this involves providing tremendous amounts of food.

Let them know you support them NO MATTER WHAT.  If my boys were in trouble, or needed someone to listen, they knew they could come to me, or I would come to them.  Anytime.  Anywhere.  If needed, I yelled later.

And finally, don't blink.  It's hard to believe when you're knee deep in tantrums and laundry and homework and the grind.  But trust me, it all goes so, so fast.

To all the moms out there, have a wonderful Mother's Day this weekend!

10 comments:

  1. Happy Happy Birthday!!! I agree, I learned early on from my parents that they weren't my friend, and I shared that with my son as well. He hated it then, but when he turned 18, he appreciated that, and now at 34, he uses those same principles with his daughter. Great message! Hugs...RO

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  2. I'm afraid to blink, trust me! And I like what you said about parenting being nonstop. I really think it doesn't end until we do. I always have the memory of my 100-year-old grandmother parenting her son, my uncle.
    And your boys seem like such nice young men. I hope my kids are like that!

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  3. Happy Mother's Day Lana, you have raised two wonderful young men - I can tell!!! I hope they spoil you rotten!
    xo,
    Kellyann

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  4. I love the perspective of a mom who's on this side of the journey with older kids. Looking back we can see what worked and didn't. You shared some wonderful points and insights, Lana. Happy Mother's Day!!! XO

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  5. Oh I just love this and the "tremendous amounts of food" line made me laugh out loud. I have three tween/tween boys and I already buy tremendous amounts of food. LOL. Happy Mother's day!

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  6. The weather is hot here in NC, I had to stop by to peek at your picture of snow. (lol) Happy Mother's Day and Hugs...RO

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  7. This is exactly why your boys turned out so well!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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  8. Your tips are wonderful! Well done Lana!!

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  9. So interesting! I saw "know their friends" or something similar on several of these posts and totally wouldn't have thought of that on my own. Great advice for someday in the far future :)

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