My New Happy: Now I Know What I Got Myself Into

Friday, March 1, 2019

Now I Know What I Got Myself Into

24 years ago today, on one of the happiest days of my life, I became a mom. 

My pregnancy hadn't gone well.  Conner was five weeks early and in distress, so his delivery was a little chaotic, and he was whisked away to be checked by a team of doctors and nurses.

A week later we brought home a six pound bundle of screaming red head.  He was premature and tiny and not at all happy about being in this world so far  ahead of schedule.  Most days I wondered what I had gotten myself into.

But the days go by quickly, and soon the crying baby grew into a whirling toddler.  Conner was quick tempered, full of endless curiosity, and completely exhausting.  I've never known another child who could talk so much and bounce even more.  I was still wondering what I had gotten myself into.

Time marched on, and then he was a boy.  With school projects and hockey practice and bicycles and so much dirt.  Still quick to anger, still full of energy. But oh, those blue eyes and freckles.  

Just like that, he was a teenager.  Driving and sports and girls.  So kind and full of empathy, always worrying about his friends.  And suddenly taller than me.

Then one day, I realized that time needed to slow down.  Where was my tiny baby, my little boy?  He was going to grow up and....leave?  And once again I wondered what I had gotten myself into.

But time didn't listen to me.  It didn't slow down.  And today that screaming red head is a 24 year old man.  Conner is smart and thoughtful.  He's thriving in his career, and as a birthday gift to himself, he's signing papers for his very first house.  

And now I finally know what I got myself into.  A lifetime of doing the greatest job in the world, being a mom.  He'll always be exhausting, and I'll never stop worrying.  But I get to watch him keep growing, keep becoming.  The baby is gone, but an amazing human being is in his place.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy birthday, son!


  1. Happy Birthday to your boy! Congrats on the house he got and your trip together looked soooo fun! You’re the best mama!

  2. Oh be still my heart. This sweet and funny at the same time. Your words jumped off the paper like a warning bell and I am once again reminded to not wish the minutes, hours and days away, because they change and grown and then we wish them back. Happy birthday to your wonderful son and congratulations on his home!

  3. Awww...that's so sweet, Lana!! Of course you didn't know what you were getting yourself into. And that's a good thing...haha! But Conner has grown to be a wonderful man because of your fabulous parenting and way that you are!!
    I love that you celebrated at Disney with about a great time!

  4. Aww, what a sweet tribute to motherhood! Happy birthday, Conner!

  5. Lana, this gave me goosebumps! So well written my friend and it reminds me of the book "Love you Forever" that always makes me cry! Oh yes, I wondered what I got myself into when my oldest was born but just like you wrote it all happened so quickly. This makes me want to just hug those boys of mine super tight!

  6. What a sweet tribute! All we can ask for is for our kids to grow up into wonderful adults! So exciting he's buying his first home! Hope he had a great birthday!

    Jill - Doused in Pink


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